I don’t wear my collar in public. In the beginning I was afraid of people’s reaction to that. I didn’t want anyone to notice what I was into, since I myself didn’t really knew why I liked it. Plus a collar didn’t fit my usual dressing.
I was allowed to party with my friends and Sir told me to wear my black collar. I didn’t want to wear it, I wanted to discuss about it, but it could have made it worse, so I accepted his wish. I was afraid of what my friends would say and if they’d notice what it symbolizes. I am not ashamed of being into D/s. I just know the prejudices about BDSM All this dumbass shit of abuse and cruelty and destruction of equality etc. I wasn’t in the mood for discussing my relationship.
My black collar matched my black dress and tights, so it wasn’t too obvious. I remember feeling uncomfortable when I met my friends and everyone stared at my collar, but after comments like “Janny, you’re starting to become a goth?” and “oh, interesting necklace.” I just laughed about it. Yes… I am wearing a necklace.
I have to admit I liked wearing my collar in public. I felt protected. My collars (I own a pink and black one) are tight. I can breathe easily, but when I move my head, laugh or swallow I feel how tight it is and always reminded me to whom I belong. Whose property I am.
It felt like I walked around in a protected bubble, where no one could harm me. I never felt so safe during a party night. And I was confident as fuck that night. I had a “look at me, I’m owned” feeling. I was proud being Sir’s property.
Nevertheless I still don’t like wearing my collar in public. I am not afraid or ashamed. My collar began to become a treasure for me. Something special and I want to keep it as my treasure for Sir and me (and you, because you understand) and not for random people who could never imagine the importance of a collar.
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- holly-gonightly said: Have you and your Sir thought about getting a simple choker or necklace that could represent your collar when you’re in public? I have a thin, gold chain that I always wear that is unremarkable to vanilla folk, but I know what it really means.
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- slavesdiary said: How lovely! Very touching and deep.. I loved reading this.. <3
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